New friend-crush jitters

New friend-crush jitters

“You had a pet turtle as a kid?! ME TOO!”

“Wait. I’m totally allergic to eyelash glue also. It sucks, right?!”

“Omg. I’ve never met someone else who hates pizza.”  

(Ok. That last one went too far. Who doesn’t like pizza?!)

It is thrilling to meet someone new and click. It feels like the friendship was meant to be. Written in the stars. Destiny! How could you not have met sooner? Sometimes these magic moments cause actual physical jitters–jumping up and down, arms in the air, lotsa giggles.

 But is this a mere moment or a longterm mutual? How do you know the difference? 

  1. You could ask. Yeah, super awkward. It’s not like a romantic date where the other person flinches at the end of the evening kiss or could say “No, I’m not that into you.” So maybe don’t ask.
  2. Calendar it up. Make a plan to hang again soon. If they suddenly have a very full calendar? Hmm. It might not be mutual. 
  3. Add dirt. Sink into a sweaty activity together. Maybe some mud on your hands… pottery class? Gardening project? Or, muddy the waters with a tough topic of conversation. Good things grow in the dirt. Vulnerability fosters deep roots.
  4. Share fries. One plate, two people. Sharing food is a primal bond, like when our ancestors were apes. (Varsity level: Dipping in the same pool of ketchup? Now you’re family). On the other hand, maybe you both agree that the theory of evolution is bananas. You get your plate. She gets hers. And in agreeing on that, you’ve found another random thing in common.

New friends are exciting and scary. The best way to neutralize the scary bit? Just do it.

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